days without a job

Today is the first day after my separation from my partner.  It has been a wonderful and remarkable relationship - most of our friends are shocked at the news. We’ve gone through many things together: my heart surgery, 9/11, her hospitalization with a platelet count of 5, my job losses, her career change, my mother’s death, my job loss, my loss of self. The latter is what probably caused the demise.

I had an unusually (but understandably) erratic night, awoke 4 times. Unpacked some more boxes in the morning, went out for a run in the new neighborhood. Ran longer than usual. Felt good on the body.

In the early afternoon, went over to a friend’s house to mooch off of some food, have some human connection and laughter; she let me wash her dishes!

And gave me two Post It pads from her collection.

Life is to be lived in the moment only. I am sad, but strangely free.